Why is the beginning, always the hardest place to start?
2025 In's and Outs.
As we welcome yet another new year, we find ourselves at the beginning again. Often, starting something new sounds like a voluntary premise - over the last year I’ve often found myself having to make a new start because of the situation i’ve found myself in. It certainly hasn't always been because I wanted to put myself there. A New Year, however, puts us all there together. Whether you are embracing 2025 with open arms, full of optimism and excitement, or if you dragged yourself here through a tough 2024 and are trying not to drown in that optimism, I hope there is something we can all take from this forced clean slate.
Normally, I’m neither here nor there for New Year. I’m not really a resolution setter, generally, my goals are set out in my notes app - are you following my drift here? - at a multitude of points throughout the year. I typically don’t need a landmark occasion to motivate me to work towards something. However, I’ve started to recognise my goals are pretty one dimensional. Very solution focussed, measurable achievements - the corporate world of goals if you will. For the first time, as 2024 drew to a close, I had a list of resolutions that felt very different to my usual goals which felt paramount to work on supported by the optimism only a fresh start can provide.
Motivation is a strange concept for me to write on. It’s definitely not something I’ve ever struggled with when it comes to your typical goals. You see, I’m the last person who needs help motivating myself to do the ‘hard’ things. Admittedly in a very privileged world where the ‘hard’ things are: committing to a challenging project at work, picking up dirty laundry after a long day when all I want to do is collapse on the couch, forcing myself out on the run when it’s pouring rain outside, making a home cooked meal instead of succumbing to the temptation of Uber Eats. Definitely worlds away from other’s peoples hard. But, I’m sure a struggle shared with many. That being said, I’d say most people who know me would agree that I’m a pretty motivated person. Reliable, steadfast, a ‘get it done’ kind of person.
However, somewhere along the way, I’ve developed a life for myself based on a stringent set of ‘rules’. My goals often focussed around the ‘hard’. Keep saving every penny week after week in the dream of owning a home. Overwork yourself simply to prove (to a room of people who aren’t even asking) that you’re the best at what you do. Spend every Monday making three home made meals and a hand pressed juice because god forbid you buy Woolies Sushi for lunch once this week. Somewhere along the way I developed these unattainable standards for myself, that no one else expects other than me. A "Push harder, achieve more, strive for perfect” mentality that has left me feeling a constant failure.
Suddenly, I’ve realised that the life I have built, while successful by typical standards, has left me empty. Chasing perfect has resulted in blurry years of living so fast that I can’t quite pinpoint what all of it was supposed to be for anyway. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been so much joy along the way. Days where all the effort has been worth it, the unachievable has been achieved, but not before it’s on to the next thing. A constant moving target in my periphery.
This is where 2025 comes in. I need the motivation of a New Year to set goals that to me today, feel selfish. This is where I have trouble with the ’starting’. When I find myself at the centre, when the intention is purely self indulgent. What if I actually enjoy putting myself first? What if prioritising my time to do something that brings me joy, or release, or potentially nothing other than satisfaction becomes addictive? If no one else is directly benefiting, does that make me selfish? Perhaps my greatest fear.
While I typically find social media a difficult place over the Christmas Break, I’ve loved seeing peoples in’s and out’s lists - particularly when it’s evident that it is so personal to the writer. A self indulgent exercise for their own accountability, not a list dictating their predictions on the next ‘it’ thing. So, here are the 2025 in’s and out’s shaping my resolutions for the year. Here’s to a year of being more careful, while also being more careless.
In
Self indulgence. I learnt last year, that in some cultures ‘selfish' has two meanings. The one we all know, to act with a lack of consideration towards others. And then the act of self care, where at the detriment of no other, you put yourself first.
Vulnerability. Why you’ve found me here. Looking for community but being authentically myself.
Copy and pasting from iPhone to laptop and vice versa. Did we all know we could do this all this time and no-one told me??
Sitting down for every meal. No more breakfast on the go. Prioritising meals whether alone, with friends or my partner.
Taking risks (safely - does this defeat the purpose?!)
Carafes instead of water bottles in the office. It’s out there but watch this space I feel like I’m onto something here.
Having friends over dinner. I adore eating out, but my friends are always the last in the restaurant getting hovered over to leave - no one can do that in our own homes + way cheaper!
Out
Food waste. It’s got to stop. More creativity in the kitchen, more mindful shopping.
Unrelenting standards. This is going to be a long game. I’ve no doubt. But it’s on there.
Living to work. I love my job, truly. But I’m better at it when I’m connected and happy.
Being shy. I’m a sit on the edge until I’m comfortable kind of person in social settings. Honestly, it can come off as rude and that’s my worst fear - so time to go.
Clutter. A messy house is a messy mind - where did I steal this from? Sounding very Marie Kondo.
Office microwaves. There has to be a better way.